The first time, my first time, was unplanned, awkward and ended with a trip to the emergency room.  I realize most Epipen uses ARE unplanned, that’s the whole point of always having it with you, but I really didn’t see it coming and when it came to the moment, I didn’t feel ready and I didn’t think G would be so young when I had to use it.  It wasn’t how I imagined my first time to be.  I thought I would be calm and in control.  I knew what to do, I had seen the demo, I had tried the trainer, heck I OWN a trainer.  Should be straight forward when the time comes…

We were at a friend’s house for a play date, kids in the living room playing and mums in the kitchen sipping a much needed coffee.  My eldest son came in to the kitchen very concerned and said that G had spilled his ‘soy juice’.  Ummmm… G didn’t have any ‘soy juice’.  We raced into the living room and found G holding a sippy cup with milk in it.  Had he drunk any?  Apparently he had as his lips began to swell slightly and his nose began to run.  I was still so unsure.  I was looking at him and thinking ‘does he normally look like this? was he wheezing like this before? does he have a cold?’  Seems weird, but these thoughts were racing through my mind.  I had never actually used a real Epipen and I was so full of uncertainty.  I picked up G and held the Epipen.  I looked at my friend and said ‘I think I have to use this’.  She nodded ‘Ya me too’.  Having her confirmation was enough and I pushed the pen into G’s thigh.  He let out a huge scream, but immediately the medicine began to work. Now I was annoyed with myself for hesitating.  Why was I questioning whether or not to use it?  I vowed never to do THAT again.  When in doubt, use the Epipen!  Like I said, I had never done this before and I didn’t realize how long the needle is.  G was never a chubby baby and I wouldn’t be surprised if the point of the needle went all the way to his bone.  As I had been stabbing, my friend had called 911 and the hunky first responder firemen arrived very quickly.  A short trip via ambulance to the hospital for observation and all was back to normal by the end of the day.

G has no recollection of this day.  Good because being jabbed by your mother with a giant needle is probably not a pleasant childhood memory, but bad because the reality of his allergies is something he should not forget (especially as he enters the teenage invincibility stage!).  Me, I’ll never forget that day.  I’ve done it again since, but like with most things, I’ll never forget my first time.